9 Ways to French-ify Your Life

If the French know how to do anything, it’s how to have a hot love affair with life. (Sure,I’m sure they have other hot affairs too!). You’ll find them leisurely sitting by the ocean having a picnic, embracing each other in a passionate kiss, sauntering down the street taking their precious time or engaging in a passionate discussion about why French wines are the best in the world.

For the French, the human experience is more about being than doing. For a girl that comes from across the Atlantic and is constantly being bombarded with messages that encourages us to go bigger, harder, stronger, I’ll admit that this mindset is a refreshing reprieve.

Spending the past two weeks in the South of France with my daughter and friends, I’ve been closely watching (and actively participating…ooh-la-la) in the lifestyle of the French culture, and I must admit that I am more excited than ever to return home and more deeply integrate the French lifestyle into my current one.

Here are 9 ways that we can all French-ify our lives:

Ease Into Your Day

Walk by a French cafe, and you won’t see people’s heads buried in their laptop or smart phones. Instead, you’ll see them sipping on café de crème, savoring a croissant and reading the paper or a good book. The French ease into their day, not skyrocket from their bed in a hurried frenzy.

Challenge: choose one morning that you set aside time to ease into your day – visit a coffee shop, luxuriate in a bath, curl up with a good book, meditate, anything that feels slow and intentional.

When I saw a couple wrapped together like two snakes on the beach at Cap d’Antibes, I realized that this type of PDA is not often found in our puritanical culture. We like to say, take it to the bedroom.

Yet, there is a sensuality that runs through the veins of French people, and they are not afraid to openly display it to whomever may be passing by. Some people may be offended, but why? What’s wrong with kissing or curling up in a tight ball with your lover on the beach? If you have a problem with this, it’s probably more about you and the beliefs you were raised with than two people exhibiting their adoration and love (or lust) for one another.

Challenge: hold hands, hug and/or kiss (you scandal, you!) someone you love in public.

The French seem to have their cake and eat it too. Yes, I’m talking about those slim physiques and rich foods co-existing in a pleasurable way of eating. Are they just genetically gifted? Mais non! They have just learned the art of dining, which includes moderation, fresh foods and no guilt.

Pass the le chocolat, s’il vous plait!

Challenge: practice the 3 bite rule with an indulgent food that you love but think you shouldn’t have. Slowly savor and enjoy each morsel. Remember, everything in moderation and guilt is not allowed.

When I book a trip to France, I make sure that it includes a Sunday. Why? Well, it’s like showing up for a French holiday, except it happens every weekend. Most stores are closed and restaurants are open, forcing you to focus on the truly important things in life – family, friends and food. It’s a day of doing nothing, except what you truly want to do.

With the American focus on productivity and over scheduled lives, I think it’s time we all create our own French Sunday. What do you think?

Challenge: Virginia Wolfe spoke about A Room of One’s Own. I want you to think about “A Day of One’s Own” that you set aside each week to slow down and enjoy your life. On this day, do what you love, whether it’s painting or sitting in a hammock reading Shakespeare. On this day, anything goes, except checking off your to-do list.  That can wait until Monday!

A Parisian style expert once told me, “Lingerie is important because it’s the first thing you put on in the morning and the last thing you take off at night. It sets the tone for your entire day.” Upon a visit to France, you’ll realize the emphasis that is placed on a woman’s intimates based on the number of lingerie shops that can be found in a city block.

While, most likely, not everyone will see it, you know what’s underneath those clothes of yours.  And, if everything is energy (and it is), then your underpinnings are impacting you whether you realize it or not.

During the French Kiss the World Society New York retreat, we visited a lingerie store for a proper bra fitting, and it was a delight to see the joy on each woman’s face with her boobies all wrapped in luxurious materials. Say what you will, it matters. Go try it for yourself!

Challenge: invest in a great lingerie set and notice how you walk a little taller and saucier. You are worth the investment.

The fashion in France (especially Paris and the South of France) is a 24-7 runway show. It’s very obvious that the women and men here put a lot of thought and effort into how they present themselves to the world. It’s their form of self-expression and a part of their culture to look tres chic. Throwing on a pair of sweats and parading around the Promenade des Anglais simply does not even cross their mind as an option.

So, why does your dress matter? Well, I know when I’m having a rough day, a shower, a great outfit and a little lipstick will pick up my spirits, and before you know it, I’m out of my head and back in the game.

Also, please realize that dressing your best doesn’t need to cost a fortune. However, it does need to represent who you are as a woman.

Challenge: for the next week, consciously put thought into your wardrobe and commit to looking your best each day.

While lying on the beaches of Nice, I saw women of every body shape, size and color, and what I noticed was women owning their bodies. They weren’t trying to cover up their perceived flaws or hide underneath a beach towel. In fact, some of them were practically bearing it all.

Nothing good comes from hiding or feeling shame around your body. Trust me, I know. I tried that approach for years. The toxic cycle will continue until you step out and own your body, every part of it. And, then a strange thing begins to happen. You birth a confidence. You begin to see the beauty in who you are, as is. And, a woman who is comfortable in her own skin is the most sexy of all!

Challenge: if you are a woman who tends to hide your body, just notice why. And, what do you gain from this behavior? Does it feel empowering and thrilling or defeating and draining? You may think you need to change your body before you begin to reveal it, but I challenge you that you have it backwards. A woman who loves herself doesn’t hide; she radiates.

The common myth is that French people don’t exercise, and it’s true that you won’t find.  Yet, it’s not true. The French do exercise, but it’s not planned bursts of activity.  Instead, it’s just a part of their lifestyle. They walk . . . a lot, take the stairs, play games, swim, dance and have a lot of sex (that counts, doesn’t it?). Movement is just a way of life, not something they drive to the gym for.

Challenge: explore ways to add more movement to your day. Perhaps a walk at lunch, taking the stairs, dancing or planning a game of volleyball or tennis on the weekend. Moving our bodies shouldn’t be a chore but a gift that we appreciate and indulge in daily.

Why do the French seem to have more time to enjoy life? It’s because they haven’t inundated themselves with massive debt, too much stuff and booked calendars. The more simple your life, the richer it becomes.

One of my greatest takeaways from my time in France is that I desire to simplify my life down to only those things that I treasure most, and what I’ve discovered is that it’s the simple things paired with the relationships with people that I love and that feed my soul.

Challenge: This is my “3 things” challenge to do each week – remove 3 things from your environment that you don’t love, say “no” to 3 things you don’t want to do and do not buy 3 things that you really don’t need. Begin to clear your calendar of empty obligations, decrease spending and clear clutter. (P.S. I started this today by walking away from a fabulous pair of Tom Ford sunglasses. It was hard, but I gained a sense of pride by saying “no”!)

Of course, it’s easier said than done – this whole French-ify’ing life. I’ve learned that the French have a very different mindset around life, which makes it easier for them to relax and slow down. You, on the other hand, may have a lot of fear around what might happen if you take a little time out to focus on you and your soul’s desires.

When you’re caught up in the rat race, the hardest step is committing to getting out of the race and focusing on what brings you true joy. If you are craving a life of ease and elegance, I have one more spot available for my French Kiss Life Immersion program where I will be mentoring a very small group of women into stepping into the French Kiss Life-style. Go here and check it out. It’s intimate and intense, just how I like life! If it sounds like a great fit, fill out the application, and let’s chat! We start in less than 2 weeks.

Cheers,

Tonya

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